As my grandpappy would always say, “Haters gonna’ hate.” In the case of Michaela Thurston – a “freshman” according to the Crimson White’s copy editors – haters gonna’ complain about smoking on campus.

I couldn’t read the entirety of Thurston’s column on the subject because of the dense smog created by smokers on campus, but I can only assume it hit on personal rights, the “dangers” of smoking and public property. Bravo, young revolutionary, for lighting up this issue.

Unfortunately, this student whiffs on solving the more menacing problem. She mistakenly pins the blame of smoking on smokers while pushing for a smoke-free campus. This proposed solution, however, only treats a symptom of a stressful environment.

Smokers aren’t hell-bent on wrecking their lungs and the respiratory systems of others; they are desperately looking for relief from anxiety. Cigarettes are their swords in a battle against their daily worries.

Thus, in order to eliminate smoking from campus, I suggest we do away with GPA, classes, homework and graduation requirements. No one would have a reason to smoke once we eliminate these needless stress-inducers.

If for some reason the University decides against this foolproof plan, I recommend that Thurston start smoking in order to relax about this issue. Clear eyes, increased risk of heart disease, can’t lose.

Wesley Vaughn is a senior majoring in public relations and political science.