The following piece is satirical in nature and not meant to be taken seriously. In case you couldn’t figure that out.

George Orwell once wrote that the primary reason writers decide to write originates with “sheer egoism.”

I would claim that the same applies to tweeting, because my self-assurance certainly led me to create the much-discussed @TheUAMachine Twitter account. My ego convinced me of my superior humor, so I created the account last July with no real purpose except for a few laughs and some self-aggrandizing.

What resulted surpassed any expectations I had formed before my first tweet. The ever-changing transformation of its reputation and use fascinated me throughout the account’s life.

People loved it, then hated it, then secretly loved it again. One girl asked to date it in a tweet – we never ended up meeting. In the beginning, it had to be a GDI tweeting, they said. But after a few months, maybe it was a greek. Maybe it was even the Machine itself. One user tweeted that it definitely was not anyone from The Crimson White, because none of them are witty enough – ouch.

At times, it became more than a one-way, first-person plural satirical account. Students used it in their own ways, and I tried to facilitate them. Many begged for bad weather to cancel classes or good weather on the weekends. When Auburn enjoyed success in football, it served as a counterweight by pointing out Auburn’s (many) flaws with #WeHateAU Week.

And of course, it was an online embodiment of all things wrong with campus politics, denoted by #UAdemocracy. At times, it fell under attack as if it was the real Machine, and I refused to disappoint them. I could be vicious, self-deprecating and dry, but I never tried to hurt anyone’s feelings or sway someone’s beliefs. I apologize if I did.

Only a few of my close friends knew the account’s real identity. It was awfully hard keeping one of the most followed accounts at the University a secret. Many accused me of operating it, but I lied and tried to lead them astray. Sorry, everyone. No one at The Crimson White knew either, because journalists cannot keep something quiet. We all know they are always out to expose the Machine, right?

I decided to stop tweeting on the account for personal reasons. Mainly, I needed to find a life off Twitter. It also became aggravating when students were more enamored with trying to find out who it was rather than enjoying the humor of it.

In its memory, I would like to print its humble beginnings as well as its emotional end and some of the more memorable tweets in between.

The first: “If there are any greeks out there who want to be the next SGA president, just let us know, and we will put you up as a potential candidate.”

After Auburn won the National Championship: “We are just so proud to watch our little sister school, Auburn, grow up so fast. It seems like only 54 years ago they won their first title.”

After the vote for Sunday alcohol sales: “We drank so much natural civic duty light today that we are going to have a horrible democratic hangover in the morning.”

The last: “Many have guessed who we may be, but they have all been wrong. The answer is that we are only as powerful as you make us out to be. No matter the results tonight, we are temporarily ending our Twitter dominance. We hope you enjoyed our online reign.”

Sent before the results of the SGA presidential election were known, the last two tweets felt necessary, and I hope that their meaning is understood. I also want to thank all of those who tweeted their sadness to see the account go.

I am glad that it was all of my doing, too…

April Fools.

Wesley Vaughn is a junior majoring in public relations and political science. His column runs on Wednesdays. For the last time, he is not @TheUAMachine.