Sometime in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday, a group of people decided to steal a large chunk of the unfinished Homecoming float sitting in front of the Mallet Assembly. This theft shook our hopes of having any sort of smooth operations in building our float.
Some might say that we had it coming because we just left the float out on our front lawn. Well, what about all of the sororities’ Homecoming decorations? Should we expect sororities to keep their large lawn decorations and unfinished billboards inside to prevent others from stealing their work, rendering null their many hours of pomping?
Recently, the Mallet Assembly has dealt with quite a few attempts at breaking our spirit. Every night, just like clockwork, people drive in front of Palmer Hall, shouting obscenities as we wave back. About a month ago, our sign was stolen from the front of our building. We have also discovered a Facebook group making fun of and insulting the Mallet Assembly. Now, our float has been stolen, and I can honestly say that it is getting a little more difficult to laugh it off. We have learned to make fun of ourselves when it comes to organizations and individuals tearing away at our dignity. We get it. We’re different.
However, do not think you are completely victorious, Oh Great Conniving Thieves. I can say as a Malleteer that we are used to people not liking us. Mallet is a joke to quite a few students around campus. Some think that only creepy creepers live in Mallet; others say that all people in Mallet ever do is play D&D or sit around and smoke cigarettes or attend Star Trek conventions. Although it is true that we do have our dorky habits such as chess tournaments, Jeopardy! parties every afternoon and mattress jumping on the front lawn, we do not limit ourselves to these activities alone.
Let me put the rumors to rest by saying that the Mallet Asssembly is an Honors Program, a very involved organization around campus and, above all, a family. When a student moves into Palmer Hall, he or she is already a part of the Mallet Assembly. They are already a part of the family.
We tailgate. We host SGA debates. We are extremely involved in Housing and Residential Communities and love being a part of the Homecoming festivities. We are just like every other organization on campus and deserve to have equal involvement in all aspects of life at the University of Alabama.
Since its founding in 1961, the Mallet Assembly has stood alongside other organizations on campus as a symbol of student leadership and independent thinking, and it will continue to do so in the future. Mallet über alles!
Lauren Collier is a junior majoring in anthropology and French.
