These latter symptoms are not exclusive to a midlife crisis, as they can affect people with its lesser-known counterpart, the quarter-life crisis, as well.
An informal diagnosis in the pop-psychology world, the quarter-life crisis is the younger sibling of a midlife crisis, generally affecting people in their early-to-mid twenties, though it can be as late as a person’s thirties.
The quarter-life crisis is often linked to transitional points in a person’s life, whether that be entering their freshman year of college or getting ready to graduate. Students start to fear what is coming next and question if they are on the right path.
According to Lee Keyes, executive director of the UA Counseling Center, students in a quarter-life crisis or similar situation often feel lost and confused. Oftentimes these feelings can be due to the new freedom that students are or will be experiencing, especially those close to graduation.
“When you are going through school everything is sort of laid out for you and planned,” Keyes said. “You have schedules that you can predict and know about. Then all of a sudden this comes to a stop…and people aren’t quite sure what to do with their life.”
Holly Hallmann, director of the UA Center for Academic Success, echoed a similar sentiment, saying that students often feel afraid, lost and distressed because they are so used to having goals, milestones and completing them. Finally achieving their goal of going to college or graduating can bring upon feelings of, “Now what?”
“Part of the challenge is that we have very involved and very accomplished students and they are used to being successful, and so they’ve reached these goals and if they don’t [have a new goal] that can create a void,” Hallmann said.
It’s not easy to create new goals, though. Hallmann said that is part of the problem that creates a quarter-life crisis. Many students find themselves not knowing what they want to do next or if what they’ve been doing so far is what they really want to do, so making new goals can be easier said than done.
Hallmann encourages students to not be afraid to explore who they are. She feels the exploratory process is especially important for underclassmen and encourages them to do some soul searching without relying on peers or external influences.
“Just because mom and dad want you to have a certain major, if your true heart isn’t in that major, it’s OK to have an adult conversation with mom and dad and say, ‘This isn’t really who I am,’” Hallman said. “This is really the time that students need to say, ‘This is what I’m interested in and this is who I am.’”
When it comes to dealing with a quarter-life crisis, Keyes said prevention is the most effective thing to do.
“Start planning your first year,” Keyes said. “If you pick [a path] that fits you, you will be less likely to feel [like you’re having a quarter-life crisis].”
The University of Alabama’s Career Center often helps students find out who it is that they really are, and what it is that they really want to do. Mary Lowrey, the director of career development at the Career Center, said that when students come in unsure of what they want to do, career center employees have conversations with those students about what a student finds appealing. They don’t ask what the student’s passion is, as that question can be overwhelming and frustrating, but rather what they enjoy doing and gravitate toward.
Keyes understands that finding what is right for you will take a bit of work and wants students to understand that it won’t happen overnight. He encourages them, though, to think about their values and ways that they can carry those out in the future. He also suggests developing plans but said students shouldn’t be overwhelmed by these plans, as they can and should be flexible.
“Many students feel like when they graduate they will be stuck with the same job for the rest of their lives,” Keyes said. “But many people have a job for a year or two and then switch. Be flexible.”
Besides soul searching and planning, another way to keep a quarter-life crisis at bay is to resist the urge to compare. Lowrey said she often sees students whose distress comes from, or is exacerbated by, a need to compare oneself to their peers. Though it is human and at times motivational to compare oneself to someone else, Lowrey said students become overwhelmed and distraught because they have a perception that everyone around them has their lives figured out.
“We tell students daily, ‘We assure you that there are so many students that come in and see us and feel this way that not everyone does have it figured out,’” Lowrey said.
For students who are past the preventions stage and feel they may be going through a quarter-life crisis, Hallmann said that beyond the Center for Academic Success, Career Center and Counseling Center, there are tons and tons of resources at the University.
For instance, she suggests going to The Source and getting involved on campus in order to gauge your interests or having a transition talk with someone in the First Year Experience office.
Lowrey said students can also talk to someone at the Women and Gender Resource Center, and strongly recommends finding a mentor — be that an upperclassman, professor or adviser.
If at some point someone’s quarter-life crisis anxiety takes over and they can’t take their next step, the crisis has really become a problem. At any time, students should feel welcome to visit the Counseling Center, but at that point especially.
Above all, students should remember that they should never hesitate to reach out for help when dealing with a quarter-life crisis. There is no shame in asking for help or in feeling that way in the first place — it is human.
“[The feelings of a quarter-life crisis] are normal, natural and part of the maturation process,” Hallmann said.
For more information on the Center for Academic Success, Career Center or Counseling Center, visit ctl.ua.edu, career.sa.ua.edu or counseling.ua.edu.
