The 23-member advisory committee in charge of searching for UA’s next president need not look further than Gaddafi’s photo albums. Condoleezza Rice, former secretary of state and current Stanford professor, is the obvious choice to fill Robert Witt’s well-polished shoes.
With her intelligence, poise in tough situations and ability to wear pearls, the selections committee should consider a few key reasons regarding why Condi would be perfect as UA’s next president.
1. Her strong ties to the state of Alabama. Condoleezza grew up in Birmingham, Ala., and lived there until her father took a job at the University of Denver. Her father’s friend was John L. Blackburn, founder of the Blackburn Institute, a group for which she has high praise. She was also inducted into the women’s honorary XXXI. She probably has eaten at Dreamland at some point. Frequently cited as the most powerful woman to come out of Alabama, it is only fitting that Ms. Rice come full circle and end up in a certain white house on University Boulevard.
2. She would boost Alabama’s media presence tenfold. I just hyperventilated imagining Jon Stewart introducing his guest as ‘Condoleezza Rice, former secretary of state and current president at the University of Alabama.’ She would undoubtedly boost Alabama’s reputation as an institution with her prestigious academic and professional record. Condi could help our PR stats tremendously, and who knows, maybe get Colin Powell to do next year’s commencement address.
3. She has experience in administration, both political and academic. While well-known for being secretary of state under one of the most turbulent presidential administrations in history, Condoleezza Rice has also served as the provost for Stanford. During her time there, she balanced the university’s budget in a matter of two years, which, at the time, ran a deficit of $20 million. UA could use someone with her expertise and business savvy during our period of expansive growth. Just think of how much more money we could be paying Nick Saban if she were president!
4. She will singlehandedly address UA’s lack of diversity in the role of president. It is no secret that the upper echelons of UA’s administration are traditionally reserved for white males. Condoleezza, a black woman, would not only break that stereotype, but could also be instrumental in addressing racial issues on campus and unifying the student body and faculty as a whole. No word yet on her ability to write vague emails to the entire student body.
5. Most importantly, she loves football. Ms. Rice would fit into the Saban Nation faster than you can say “houndstooth power suit.” Condoleezza, who said she would aspire to be the NFL commissioner, had her political career not taken off, loves football. Better yet, she may as well already be wearing crimson and white: On the day of the LSU-Bama game, she tweeted “Roll Tide.”
Selections committee, I apologize for making your job terribly easy for you, but Condi is the clear choice. If you need me, I’ll be devising ways to stay a few extra semesters in order to shake her hand at graduation.
Danielle Drago is a senior majoring in finance and economics.
