What could go wrong on opening day for baseball in average, plain, middle town America?
Well, the worst-case scenario is a government plane crashing into the town’s water supply, leaking a dangerous, biohazardous material — making the water worse for your health than tap water in Belize.
Only four characters are immune from this poison, leaving them all alone to quite literally fend off a horde of Crazies. And that’s pretty much it. It’s all about surviving a crazy, crazy ride.
Welcome to the mad world of “The Crazies.” It’s a remake of the 1973 George A. Romero film of the same name, which keeps confirming my theory that Hollywood will remake every single horror film one day.
The characters are put in a small, rural town somewhere in Iowa, with screen gem Timothy Olyphant and horror/thriller genre veteran Radha Mitchell as husband and wife.
The plot isn’t too fresh, as you might have guessed already. It’s really just a scream fest, and it definitely worked on the audience. I guarantee the hairs on the back of your neck will be standing up most of the time, and your adrenaline will be pumping.
The actual ‘Crazies’ aren’t undead, just sick. Think of them as similar to the “28 Days Later” rage people except the biohazard is a water-borne infection, as in Eli Roth’s “Cabin Fever.”
These Crazies aren’t just running around screaming and biting whomever they see. They can use weapons, and they can be very deadly with them. They’re sick, they’re deadly, and they’re scary as hell.
The characters are pretty straightforward; we’ve all known these stereotypical horror film characters. And as a quick side note, haven’t these people learned anything from “Zombieland?”
A quick Double Tap here and a nice, thorough examination of the bathroom can work wonders for your survival. But these guys probably didn’t take these lessons to heart.
While there is no groundbreaking character development in “The Crazies,” the actors do move this all-too-familiar plot along. Timothy Olyphant does an excellent job at playing protagonist David Dutton, the all-around good guy sheriff who is trying to make it out alive with his wife.
To call this a gory film is an understatement. It’s blood-soaked, covered from head to toe.
Anyone who gets queasy at this kind of stuff should avoid this film. It’s a little over the top, but I’m not complaining, just as long as it doesn’t become too much of a trend.
What’s really interesting about “The Crazies” is the role that the government plays. Red alerts with which phase the government is on will pop up every so often.
It makes you wonder, was that water supply accidentally contaminated, or was it a government test?
While government conspiracies aren’t anything new to the horror genre, it is oddly refreshing to see it come up in “The Crazies.”
CW’s Critics Rating: 3 Stars out of 4 Stars
Bottom Line: “The Crazies” is a scream ride and it is by far the best horror film to have come out this year so far. Just be sure to bring a towel to wipe off all the fear-induced sweat afterwards.
