Caught between the chaotic worlds of home life and college, students with divorced parents may feel like they are the only ones without the quintessential happy family.

However, 33 percent of all marriages end in divorce, according to a study by the Barna Group, a research and resource organization focused on the intersection of faith and culture.

Many times, parents delay divorce until their children have grown and left home.

“The thing that I would hear from people is that many parents do this to try to spare the student from problems and pain,” said John Lochman, a UA psychology professor.

However, the decision to wait could have a worse impact on college students than parents imagine.

“It’s very disillusioning,” he said. “They might feel like they were just living a lie.”

Students may also feel guilty for causing their parents to stay in a bad relationship for their own sakes. Additionally, they may tend toward anger, feeling that their parents misguided them along the way, Lochman said.

Students may also feel overwhelmed by the stress of financial consequences that arise. Split into two homes, parents experience double living expenses, which impacts their ability to pay a student’s tuition.

Lochman said a 2007 study by Linda Luecken at Arizona State University showed the factors that caused health problems in students of divorced parents.

The study found that a peaceful divorce resolution helped students stay healthy while a divorce that was never finalized and fully resolved caused a negative long-term effect on health.

Furthermore, students who kept in close contact with their father did better post-divorce than those with little or no contact.

Lochman said the manner in which parents handle their emotions affects how the student will handle their own.

If parents continually left conflicts unresolved, students may follow the pattern and find it harder to automatically use good conflict resolving skills. They may also become depressed or get angry about issues that in the past might not have bothered them.

Despite negative effects, there are healthy ways of coping. Students should find means of anger and stress management as well as find an effective relaxation method, he said.

Lochman suggested controlled breathing or exercise. Also, students should change their state of mind by focusing on a pleasant aspect of life for 10 minutes.

“We tell kids to tell themselves self-statements like ‘I’m not going to let this event control my life,’” he said.

Riley Kraus, a freshman majoring in biology, recently found out that her mother was getting divorced again.

She said she feels stressed knowing her stepdad will continue paying for much of her school expenses after the divorce.

“He’s financially burdened by something he’s not legally supposed to do,” she said. “Without my scholarship I would feel absolutely guilty.”

Though she saw the divorce coming, it didn’t make the reality any easier to deal with, she said. Seeing other friends whose parents had never been through a divorce, she felt as if she had gotten the bad end.

Still, she said that feels her success at the University despite family frustrations has demonstrated an ability to overcome future obstacles.

“It’s really difficult,” she said. “It takes a strong person.”

She copes by talking about the issue with close friends who have had the same experiences. She said focusing on college has helped her distract herself from thinking about the divorce.

Caroline Hicks, a sophomore majoring in biology, said her church supported her through her parents’ divorce at the end of her senior year in high school.

“It was a long process,” she said.

Hicks said she was shocked about her parents’ decision but accepted that they knew what was best for them.

She coped by making sure she never kept anything in, relying on friends for support and advice.

Eventually, she was able to get to the point where she saw the positive things that came from the divorce.

Though leaving for college might have caused additional stress, Hicks said she appreciated the coinciding transitions.

“I have so many great friends here,” she said. “If anything, being at college has almost helped.”

All Adults       33%

Evangelical Christians 26%

Associated with non Christian faith   38%

Atheist or agnostic      30%

Protestant       34%

Catholic           28%

White  32%

Black       36%

Hispanic          31%

Asian   20%

SOURCE: Barna