Capstonians, we all know how block seating works so well at home football games. The tradition of reserving seats for student groups with the necessary financial and influential means has been a great, if not the greatest, tradition at our university.
The reason we need block seating is because of how difficult it is for large groups of friends to sit together in Bryant-Denny – not all of us can arrive early and have the wherewithal to use shakers to save seats.
The same holds true for the Ferguson Center at noon. Hordes of students apparate from all over to purchase overpriced wares from the campus monopolies in the food court. With so many students, it becomes hard to find a seat, and therein lies the problem. Why would I want to sit with a fellow student whom I don’t know? I understand that I could meet new people, which could lead to a more unified and accepting campus, and blah, blah, blah.
I get it. But I would much rather sit and eat with my like-minded friends. Thus – drumroll please – I propose that we implement block seating in the Ferg at lunchtime.
We don’t even need to include it in the SGA Code of Laws, since football block seating existed forever without being mentioned once in any governing document. We could even use the same neutral, trustworthy committee to grade applicants and devise a seating chart.
The only major difference with Ferg block seating would be that groups of four would apply due to table and chair restrictions – no more doubling up tables, you friendly fiends. As with football block seating, applicants would be graded based solely on their GPA, philanthropic activities, campus involvements, their ties with the committee members and how much influence their relatives hold over the administration. Perfect, right?
The groups that score the highest would be placed in the west dining room, the “front row” of the Ferg. Those with the lowest grades would be placed in the east dining room, nearest the window, where absolutely no one will see them.
Instead of arriving at the Ferg 15 minutes before lunch kickoff, groups with reserved seating could arrive late with the comfort of knowing that their seats would be waiting for them.
Some of you may be thinking that the current free-for-all system is much more fair. Are you a communist?
This is America, for Uncle Sam’s sake. We have the right to buy what may be considered public property and turn it into large, exclusive fixtures of private property. Don’t make Atlas shrug, or whatever Ayn Rand was trying to say.
This incentive system will push students to work hard so that they avoid contact with other students. Of course, there may be a majority of students, say 70 percent, who choose not to apply for this privilege and complain about it on the grounds that it divides campus and other nonsense. We will just have to educate them about tradition.
It is high time we solve the high-noon problem in the Ferg. We need to implement the infallible system of block seating in the dining rooms in order to facilitate students sitting with their close peers.
Wesley Vaughn is a senior majoring in public relations and political science. His column runs on Wednesdays.
