If you are reading this, it means you survived. No, I’m not referring to your successful viewing of the wearisome Winter Olympics opening ceremonies.

I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. The holiday created to ruin relationships and batter self-esteems. It shouldn’t even qualify as a true holiday because it can’t possibly be defined as a break from work and a time of leisure. If anything, Valentine’s Day serves solely to stress our sad souls.

The date falls in a horrible time slot to start off with. This year it falls a week after a saintly Super Bowl, the day of the Daytona 500 and the Chinese New Year, the day before Presidents’ Day, two days before Mardi Gras, and, of course, during Black History Month. No normal human being can overcome this holidaze.

Guys particularly bear the brunt of Valentine’s blow. Obviously, as a member of the male population, I have my biases, but it’s true.

Financially, there is no debate. USA Today reported that men on average spend $135 for Valentine’s Day against the $72 doled out by women. Don’t be too shocked. The whole idea of this holiday charges up this investment inequality. Many may hope that Cupid’s arrows pierce the perfect someone, but cupidity is just the excessive desire for wealth and material possessions.

For single guys, Valentine’s Day merely acts as a marker that splits the year into two relationship seasons. Jan. 1 to Feb. 14 requires careful treading while Feb. 15 until late December is open season.

Some guys wait until after V-Day to even think about talking to a girl. The best way to awkwardize a relationship is by setting up a date on that horrible excuse for a day with a girl you have only been talking to for a few weeks.

Coupled guys have to pull a Jack Bauer and create the best date of the year during a 24-hour time span. Go all out, because most ladies are like Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally.” They think they are low maintenance when they are actually high maintenance.

However many times they may say they don’t care about doing anything for Valentine’s Day, they want to do something on Valentine’s Day.

Then there are the trials of single women. The television watching and comfort candy can only last so long. Singles Awareness Day easily surpasses the Summer Solstice as the longest day of the year. Don’t feel bad though. Unfortunate men are experiencing the same heartache sans the self-satisfaction singles’ dinner.

So why do we allow this to happen to ourselves? We don’t.

A select few force it on us for their own benefit. This “holiday” is as commercial as the Super Bowl, and we have yet to protest it. Hallmark requires that we buy cards that say what we could say ourselves, but the price of the card apparently makes it sound better. Russell Stover compels us to purchase heart-shaped boxes of half-delicious and half-disgusting chocolate. Kay Jewelers makes it seem that diamonds are the only way we can express our love. Expensive restaurants mandate our reservations for an under-performing meal that may actually tear your wallet’s labrum.

Capstonians, all of that nonsense and all of the unnecessary stress must come to an end.

The Society Against Valentine’s Existence and I plan to stage a national boycott to break up with the holiday. Those involved in SAVE urge next year’s Valentine’s Day to be completely date-less. Men and women alike should refuse to treat Feb. 14 different than any other day of the year. We, as a nation, have overcome the tyranny of the British, barriers to social equality, and even the existence of “Jersey Shore.”

Together, we shall give them a fourteenth of February that shall never, ever, be forgot.

Wesley Vaughn is a sophomore majoring in public relations and political science. His column runs weekly on Monday.