The annual summer diaspora – when friend groups are torn apart, the heat and humidity get worse than Gallettes on a Friday night, and many of us are forced to prostitute our ethics in far-flung corners of the world for a pitiful wad of cash – is nearing the end of its third grueling month. As I sit here at my desk in Birmingham on a Tuesday morning, consuming cup after cup of bad break room coffee and making excruciating small talk with my corporate shill coworkers, my thoughts are inevitably drawn to my final return to the Capstone.
Like most University of Alabama students flung around the state and the nation this summer, I am looking forward longingly to the marquee event of the fall semester. As students begin return to campus a few short weeks from now, a national title winner will take the stage in Tuscaloosa, cheered on by thousands of screaming fans, some of them lifelong diehards and some of them watching for the very first time. Two talented superstars supported by a team of solid playmakers will delight, thrill and entertain us with their collective prowess.
That’s right: Grammy Award-winning band Steely Dan is scheduled to perform at the Tuscaloosa Amphitheater.
The self-proclaimed “jazz-rock ambassadors to the galaxy” will be landing in our very own T-Town on Aug. 20, bestowing upon us happy few, us band of concert-goers, the tripartite blessings of super groovy sounds, way cool beats and really smooth music.
Now, I’m well aware that perhaps a dozen or maybe even more of you do not share my undying devotion to The Dan, and other shows taking place at the amphitheater – My Morning Jacket, Widespread Panic (bro!) and Pretty Lights, among others, may make watching the finest two musicians ever produced by New York City a relatively low priority; but allow me a moment to change your mind.
Pretty Lights and Widespread Panic are perennial players on the Alabama (and indeed the Tuscaloosa) music scene; the average bro is afforded dozens of opportunities to grind it out with Pretty Lights or sway in a substance-induced haze with Panic in a given year; Steely Dan comes to this state once every never.
A brief primer for the uninitiated: Steely Dan is composed of yacht rock godfathers Walter Becker and Donald Fagen, both alumni of Annandale’s Bard College, as well as a rotating cast of some of the all time greats of jazz, soul, and funk – Boz Scaggs, Michael McDonald, David Palmer and Dire Straits’ Mark Knopfler, just to name a few. In what was perhaps the finest moment in Grammy history, the group’s “Two Against Nature” beat out Eminem’s “The Marshall Mathers LP” and Radiohead’s “Kid A” for the 2001 Album of the Year. The incarnation of the band taking part in the Shuffle Diplomacy Twenty Eleven tour includes Becker and Fagen, the eight-piece Miles High Big Band, and sassy backup singers The Embassy Brats.
If you’ve never heard their music (you poor shell of a human being), you’re in for the sonic equivalent of Arthur Fonzarelli covered in cocoa butter – it’s that smooth. The Dan’s musical genius has produced songs ranging from catchy, soulful, horn-tinged, irony-laden jazz-rock pieces to catchy, soulful, piano-tinged, irony-laden jazz-rock pieces.
An anonymous associate of mine has scoured the Internet, trawling the darkest, most chilling depths of the web to produce a set list for this tour, and we are in for a treat. Among the musical delicacies awaiting anyone willing to pay the $35.80 for entrance into paradise is a mix of classic hits (Hey Nineteen, Deacon Blues, Black Cow, Reelin’ in the Years) and new favorites (Godwhacker, Everything Must Go) guaranteed to make you quiver with ecstasy.
If you want the perfect introduction to the perfect band, do yourself a favor and download (not from Resnet or UA Public Wireless, of course) Aja, the album added to the United States National Recording Registry for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically important,” a musical tapestry so sexy it once stole Tom Selleck’s girlfriend. If you like it, put on your best turtleneck and join the coolest cats around for the smoothest experience of your life; if not, (WARNING: lyric reference) take your big black cow and get out of here.
Ian King is a senior majoring in political science and history.
