Let’s tackle a shallow, surface issue. Like bugs. Or drunk driving. Actually, how about morality? What deems a person good? What damns a person bad? As college students, we selfishly live day to day with only ourselves in mind. It’s pretty easy to get caught up in the “me, me, me” rationale. “I have a test.” “I need to study.” “I’m hungry.” “Give me that cookie… No, that one.”

However, there comes a time when you realize the existence of a self-fulfilling shortlist of people around you who literally only know “me, me, me.” Everyone can name at least two or three. The random text conversations that begin, always sweetly, and ultimately lead to favors now appear as red flags to you. You know this person you haven’t seen since November doesn’t care what you’re up to, or how you’ve been, or “what’s up.” They need to borrow your car, they crave your assistance, and they want your ten bucks.

Then there are the people who only do caring things with an ulterior motive in mind. “Hey, let me buy you dinner! You pick the place! All you have to give me is your soul and I will hold a payback favor over your head for the rest of your life.” I wish these people actually said that. Instead, I’m stuck with the person who wants to run errands with me (so I think) only really to have me run their errands. Thanks, but no thanks. You keep those.

I believe that there are two types of people: teleological thinkers and deontological thinkers. Teleological thinkers judge an action good or bad based on its outcomes and/or consequences, while deontological thinkers judge action based on the action itself.

For instance, three kids come home to freshly baked cookies. Above the cookies sits a note from Mom, forbidding the kids to indulge. (Yes, this woman is sick and definitely enjoys torturing children.)

The first boy says, “Yum, chocolate chip, my favorite!” as he grabs a good, gooey, middle one. (You know the one…)

The second boy, the teleological thinker, says, “I’m not eating a cookie, because I’ll get in trouble.” (He hasn’t regained Xbox access after last week’s run-in with some brownies.)

The third boy, the deontological thinker, says, “I’m not taking a cookie because stealing is wrong and immoral, and I hope you burn in hell.” (They tease deontological boy for his severity and for his nickname.)

So where’s the free will? I’m not saying one of these is “right.” Even the first boy is exercising his own free will; I mean, a little rebellion never hurt anyone, right, Billy Idol?             And the second boy won’t get fooled again… His FIFA-deprived hands are beginning to shake. And deontological boy needs to obviously calm down, but most people would like to think they fit his category. Most people aren’t killing kittens because of the jail time; most people aren’t killing kittens because, ah, killing kittens is awful.

Perhaps it isn’t so black and white; perhaps we’re all a combination of all three (teleological, deontological and rebel).

Look, I know we’re all stressed out about finals and wrapping up the semester. But today when you reach for your phone to ask someone a favor, stop and think about the last time you requested their help, and the last time you called just to chat and ask what they’re up to, how they’ve been, and what’s up. Someone’s friendship should never feel like a fee. The pay-off comes in the middle of the night when you need to borrow a car, crave assistance and could really use ten bucks from someone you are currently with.

Kingsley Clark is a junior majoring in communications studies and creative writing.