One thing very few of us were expecting before coming to college was the amount of small talk we’d have to participate in. With nearly 40,000 students attending the University, we’re constantly meeting new people and engaging in the short, seemingly meaningless conversations that so many of us are supposed to hate. However, small talk isn’t meaningless or shallow – it’s a skill that is as important as it is unavoidable.

The many criticisms of small talk floating around the internet are rarely seen without suggestions of better, “deeper” conversation topics like conspiracy theories, aliens or the meaning of life – all of which are fun to talk about, but maybe not the second you meet somebody. Deep friendships with cool people don’t just spring into existence. You have to be willing to do the work to get to know someone, even if that means talking about things that aren’t necessarily special topics of conversation.

People who hate small talk don’t really hate small talk. They hate the inevitable awkwardness that comes from small talk. There’s no way around it – when you’ve just met someone, whether it’s at a band party or in class, it’s probably going to be at least a little awkward. You don’t know anything about them, which is why you have to ask each other the dreaded trinity: “What’s your name? What are you studying? Where are you from?” It feels unoriginal and, at times, dull. However, it’s an unavoidable part of the college experience. After all, friends know each other’s majors and hometowns. This knowledge isn’t magically transferred between minds. It’s shared through conversation, awkward and stilted though it may be.

Small talk is also essential outside the bubble of college. It’s important to be able to network and navigate unfamiliar situations. Though career opportunities are always out there, it’s impossible to take advantage of them if you don’t know how to network. We all hear (and ignore) the advice to get to know our professors, but the truth is, they are a valuable resource both in and out of the classroom. They can provide feedback and advice for their class, of course, but also allow us to become comfortable chatting with people who aren’t necessarily our peers.

Many people have trouble initiating small talk due to nervousness, be that from shyness or full-on social anxiety. While each of us have different limits when it comes to social interaction, the only way to overcome such nerves is to throw yourself into these situations until you become comfortable in them. The worst case scenario, after all, is just an awkward conversation. And while I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing situations keep me up at night, replaying over and over in my head, I’ve always found a small comfort in the knowledge that at least I didn’t, you know, die. And with that knowledge comes the courage to try again.

Being in college, we have an excellent opportunity to advance all our skills. We grow intellectually in the classroom, we learn to manage our own finances and appointments and we refine our social skills everywhere we go. Now is not the time to cower when faced with small talk, whether by deeming ourselves too profound to sink to that conversational level or by succumbing to our anxiety and avoiding social situations. Rather, we should lean in to this opportunity and take advantage of it, getting to know people one shallow conversation at a time.