Throughout most of college, I have taken myself extremely seriously. I’ve assigned extraordinary gravitas to decisions and involvements that, in the long run, have not mattered at all. I’ve thought that every extracurricular I participated in, every leadership position I held and every moment of notoriety or influence I had on this campus were incredibly important. I surrounded myself with a lot of people who took themselves this seriously, too. 

Now, as my college career comes to a close, I can’t help but laugh at myself — laugh at the things I thought were important: the number of “co-director” titles I could put in my email signature, the big hats, who I was rubbing shoulders with, and the most recent Machine and SGA drama. I laugh at how I truly thought that I was in some bubble of campus “elites” because of who I knew and what I was involved in. I laugh because none of it matters now. And it never really did. 

The University is a really, really big school. I think some of us forget just how big it is at times because of how insular our communities grow as we become upperclassmen. This size means that for every student whose life revolves around honors societies or SGA politics, there’s a thousand who could not care less about tapping on the mound or election season. 

I say this to give our actions at The University of Alabama perspective. Yes, they will have some effect, and some people will certainly care, but for the most part, the clubs that you found or the societies you run do not affect the majority of students at the University. 

I don’t mean that we should all adopt a nihilistic attitude towards the college experience at UA. Doing well in your classes still matters, finding your passion still matters, and forming meaningful, long-lasting relationships with your peers definitely still matters. 

But that’s really it. All the clubs, all the “influence,” all the moving and shaking, doesn’t really matter. At the end of the day, all this ambition will only deplete you, over-extend you, and cause you to lose yourself in pettiness and comparison. 

Of course, this isn’t to say that I regret all of my involvement. I am so thankful for the opportunities I got outside of the classroom to find where my passions lie, to build my skills as an educator, and to give myself real world experience that has no doubt helped me in the job hunt. 

I only wish I had focused on these things more. Looking back, the most joyous times I’ve had in college have been when I was learning new things from my professors, in the classroom, doing what I loved, or when I was with my closest friends, enjoying their company. All the rest was really just filler. 

A senior column would not be complete without some piece of advice for incoming students or those with time left at Alabama. So to distill all my slightly pessimistic ramblings, here it is: Take yourself less seriously. You matter, always, and college matters too, but not that much. Use it for what it’s meant for: immersing yourself in academics, discovering what you truly care about, and making the best friends of your life. The rest, I can promise you, isn’t worth it.

Marissa Cornelius is a senior majoring in secondary education. She is the Opinions Editor of The Crimson White.