Is there anyone left who isn’t convinced that smoking is a cool thing to do? With few left un-converted, the industry continues to thrive with the same relentless vigor it robs from its customers.

Surely this desire in people comes from watching others trudge through their addictions outside of their offices huddled in a circle like a group of vagrants. It sounds mighty enticing to wake up every morning with your lungs completely devoid of anything but a taste of burnt paper and your body’s flu-like reaction to your cool addiction.

That first smoke in the morning reassures you that you won’t be doing any kind of rigorous exercise for the remainder of the day. That is, of course, unless you want a reminder of your loyalty to the cigarettes as you gasp for air, clutching your sides.

It might help you get rid of the entire contents of your stomach even after one puff. Now that’s a cool look: resigned to the bathroom all day. The only thing that can convince anyone to quit smoking these days are those annoying anti-smoking commercials on TV that are conveniently sponsored by tobacco companies. Being around smokers, it seems, is just too cool to deny.

Carter Glascock is a senior majoring in journalism.