Of history’s many great rivalries, there are a few that come to mind that display entities so great and competitions so fierce that they strike a chord amongst us all: Man vs. nature, Alabama vs. Auburn, Seinfeld vs. Newman and, perhaps the most poignant, Dreamland vs. Archibald’s. Both are legendary rib places, both believe that white bread is the superior side item and both seem to think they have the best barbecue in town. So which one truly does? With stretchy pants and wet-naps in hand, I set out to find the answer.
DREAMLAND
Down McFarland and up a curvy road near Skyland, you will find a small red building with an even smaller sign reading “Dreamland,” humble settings for such a legendary place. I had never been to the original one before, but as I creaked open the front door, I felt like I was walking into a place I’d been a hundred times.
The smoky aroma filled the low ceilinged room. Photos, newspaper clippings and license plates littered the walls, and, amidst all the hubbub, a faintly lit menu hung on the wall. From what I could tell, they’ve got ribs and they’ve got white bread, and if you’re feeling really peckish they’ve got coleslaw, baked beans and banana pudding for sides.
I decided to go big and order one of each.
A large stack of white bread and sauce was put before me as I waited on my food — is this an appetizer, like chips and salsa? I didn’t have too long to ponder this, though, because two minutes later my food came zooming towards me.
After a few bites, my first response was that the sauce was delicious. The vinegar-based sauce was smoky and tangy with a healthy dose of heat. The ribs, however, were a bit overdone. They weren’t awful and did have a good bit of flavor. But, truth be told, despite their slogan, I have had ribs just like them at several other places.
The coleslaw was mediocre at best, but the banana pudding was terrific. The thick slices of banana melted into the honey-yellow custard as billowing clouds of cinnamon-dusted whipped cream topped off the dish. Our waitress told me at the beginning that the pudding was good depending on who was back there making it, so I guess I got it on a good day.
Even though the ribs weren’t knock-me-off-my-feet good, the experience was still thoroughly enjoyable and highly recommended. Dreamland is a part of our culture; it stands for something so much more than barbecue, and to be a part of it is to be a part of something bigger than the plate it was served on or the building it was made in. Plus, having enough leftovers to last me two days isn’t bad either.
ARCHIBALD’S
The very next day, I found myself driving around Tuscaloosa and Northport trying to find Archibald’s.
It’s tucked away in a small, poorly lit neighborhood on Martin Luther King Boulevard, off Highway 69. It’s so small and poorly advertised it makes Dreamland look like a Super Target. And don’t plan on sitting down for a meal. Other than a few outdoor benches, there aren’t any tables. For that matter, there isn’t even a real kitchen in the tiny brick building.
What they do have is an enclosed fire pit that fills the room and surrounding area with a hickory-smoked aroma, one that I’m sure the neighbors don’t complain about. And if I thought Dreamland’s menu was sparse, Archibald’s soundly puts it to shame by offering just three items: ribs, pulled pork and white bread.
Like I did at Dreamland, I got one of each to go, and, after I found my checkbook (they only take cash or check), I was on my way home within five minutes.
Upon first glance it might appear that there is no sauce on your meat. Perhaps it has been sopped up by the two pieces of bread hiding under your ribs, or maybe you are used to the thick, gloppy red stuff other BBQ places serve. Either way, have no fear, there is the thin vinegar sauce ladled on there, and whether you see it or not that sauce is delicious.
The ribs and pulled pork are wonderful. The meat is as nice, fatty and tender as anyone could hope for, yet still maintaining a slight caramelized crust around the edges.
The atmosphere at the restaurant is pretty much nonexistent, but with ribs good enough to pull out and eat right there in the parking lot, Archibald’s is somewhere you want to go while here in Tuscaloosa.
SIDE BY SIDE:
Dreamland:
Pork Spare Ribs Slab — $18.50
Rib Plate —$9.95
BBQ Rib Sandwich — $6.95
Pork Sausage — $5.95
Sides: Baked Beans and Cole Slaw
Single — $1.45
1/2 Serving — $2.75
Pint — $4.50
Quart — $6.50
Dessert: Banana Pudding
Single — $2.00
1/2 Serving — $4.00
Pint — $6.00
Quart — $8.00
Comes with White Bread
Bottom Line: The menu may be lackluster, but if you want a fun place to sit down, hang out and soak up the scenery, go to Dreamland.
4 out of 4 stars
Archibald’s:
Spare Pork Ribs
Slab — $19.29
1 Pound — $9.76
Large Plate — $9.05
Medium Plate — $8.01
Small Plate — $5.83
Sliced Pork
1 Pound — $10.03
3 Sandwiches — $9.05
2 Sandwiches — $8.01
1 Sandwich — $5.83
Comes with White Bread
Bottom Line:
If you want the best barbecue in town and don’t mind eating on a bench or in your car, Archibald’s is the place to go.
4 out of 4 stars
