Predictably, we find ourselves back in Alabama, taking in the familiar sight of girls flocking to class in oversized pastel T-shirts and packs of boys striding the lawns of campus in crisp Polos, khakis and boat shoes. At the start of every semester, I’m still startled by the homogeneity of dress on campus.
It’s true that appearances can be superficial, but they often indicate larger social phenomenon. Everyone wants to be a part of something larger, but in this quest for acceptance and affiliation, our distinctiveness slowly begins to blur, whether we do it consciously or not. It’s why every trek on the Quad is plagued with bright neon wear and North Face backpacks.
Though it may feel natural, we cannot spend our lives trying to be like other people or fitting into a precast mold – somewhere along the way we must ask ourselves: How much of our identity are we willing to give up in the name of organization?
Retaining individuality is hard, particularly in a University setting where the landscape is large and we all seek to find a comfortable social space. Settling inside a single niche, however, demands mimicry. We imitate the people we want to be – but forget the person we are. We must be willing to branch out and leave our social space undefined. Though it’s a gray area near the fringes of society, it’s a place where you can be yourself, which ultimately delivers self-fulfillment.
From the outside, it’s hard to gauge the inside – I can only attest to my perspective, which remains as depressing as ever. I’ve lost many friends to a “system” of sorts, but one of them stands out in particular.
It began in the usual way. Soon after high school, he formed an intimate relationship with a religious group, and it was nice to see that he’d found a place that provided him company and answers, but the organization had seemingly closed him off from the outside world. Now, speaking to him is like speaking to a body behind a curtain. The open-mindedness I once knew has vanished. Becoming overly attached to a group or body limits us more than we know.
In much the same way, friends I used to interact with on a daily basis in high school have been completely absorbed by sororities and fraternities. My friendship has been replaced by something much larger, something with which an individual cannot compete.
Every step we take does not have to be defined by affiliating with the norm, as if life were a book that’s already been written by other people. Organization is something that brings us together and shapes our ideas, but it certainly does not define us. Closely aligning with a single ideology or group leaves us closed-minded and unable to be ourselves.
There are many things to experience in this world, and if we cannot be ourselves in it, life can be painful. Don’t let your individuality slip away. I take my leave with a line from Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
Tarif Haque is a sophomore majoring in computer science. His column runs weekly on Thursdays.
