He is constantly stressing out about school and takes medicine to help him focus. They don’t think it’s a big deal that it’s not prescribed, until he overdoses and is sent to the hospital.
She used to always love going out with her friends, and they didn’t understand when suddenly she stopped going anywhere. They couldn’t see that she was afraid.
He always had on a smile and was cracking jokes; it seemed like he loved life. That’s what they said at his funeral, as they mourned his taking of it.
These depictions may seem dramatic or out of the ordinary, but for many students, they’re reality. Students suffer every day from depression, anxiety, abuse, assault and more. And it’s not always visible. So often, we are shocked when we find out that the happiest, most easy-going people are the ones with the deepest issues.
My freshman year, my Spanish partner and I would joke and talk throughout class, and occasionally get our work done, too. When second semester came around, our schedules didn’t work together, but we stayed mutually connected through classmates. And all seemed to be going well.
Rumors went around one day about a student who killed himself. I remember thinking, “that’s so sad.” It never crossed my mind that I might, on such a large campus, actually know who they were talking about. Only after I got a phone call that night telling me it was my friend did I connect the dots. I had never known.
It’s so easy on a campus of 30,000 people to feel lost and alone. We’ve all been there, in fact – who of us hasn’t felt at least once that we had no one to turn to and that no one really cared that much? We put on a brave face and act like everything is okay, when in reality it feels like our world is falling apart. That’s why it is so important for us as a student body to look out for each other and to learn to listen and respond.
If you think something is wrong with someone, talk to your friend about it. Don’t just sweep it under the rug or assume they’re just having a rough day. In the same breath, if something happens to someone you know, it’s not your fault. Yet, that doesn’t make it any easier to deal. Part of living in a community is leaning on each other when times are hard.
I won’t claim expertise and solutions to all problems. If I did, we would have no need of the Counseling Center, Student Health Center or Women’s Resource Center. But I do urge you to take advantage of these resources. They are not just here for life-threatening situations, either; they are here to support students in whatever way they can, no matter how big or small a situation may seem. Often, the most inconsequential issue to others end up being important to us.
We don’t like to acknowledge the bad, the heavy, the human. We don’t want to see any of this in others or in ourselves. But it’s important to talk, and it’s important to listen. See if you can go out today and notice someone new. Maybe we can make campus feel a little less lonely.
