Ever since I started interacting with my American friends, I learned that our cultures have significant differences. As an international student from Nepal, I’ve always admired the strong sense of unity, festival spirit, social lives and compassion that Asian culture upholds. These values shape a sense of belonging and community that is rare in many other parts of the world. However, I have also come to realize that there are several aspects of my culture that I do not appreciate as much. One glaring difference is how mental health and relationships are treated within our society.
In the West, people openly talk about their mental health struggles, personal lives, friendships and relationships with their immediate family. I remember hearing my friends express frustrations and vulnerabilities about their own mental health challenges, eating disorders, relationships and friendships. Their comfort in openly discussing such matters surprised me, because I have always pushed away from discussing personal struggles and feelings, especially with my closest ones.
The stigma surrounding mental health is deeply entrenched in many parts of Asian culture. From childhood, we are taught to put up a brave face, hide weaknesses and never bring disappointment to our families. The idea of opening up about mental health is seen as a sign of weakness or failure, an unwelcome disruption to the perfect image of unity that we are supposed to uphold.
We grow up internalizing these harmful beliefs, and as a result, mental health struggles often go unaddressed, leading to more severe outcomes. According to the Institute of Mental Health, 78.4% of people in Asia who suffer from mental health conditions receive no treatment, partly due to the deep-rooted stigma that keeps individuals from seeking help.
Mental health, however, is not the only taboo topic in our culture. Relationships, whether romantic, familial or platonic, are often viewed through a narrow, restrictive lens.
In many parts of Asia, relationships are still expected to follow traditional patterns, often influenced by family and societal expectations rather than individual desires.
The idea that one might choose their partner, express affection or have an open dialogue about their relationship struggles is often met with disdain or misunderstanding, especially when you are a young adult. Family expectations, societal norms and a lack of emotional communication contribute to unhealthy relationship dynamics, where emotions are suppressed and personal growth is stunted.
This restrictive view of relationships feels especially stifling when it comes to family dynamics. Personally, the discomfort would affect me if I were to talk about my personal life or relationships with my family. Even though we are close and I know deep down that they care, the idea of discussing something as personal as my worst struggles or relationship challenges makes me feel strange.
Such emotion arises because we don’t develop the habit of discussing these things from an early age, making it increasingly difficult to do so as we grow older. It’s not that every family or community in Asia faces the same issue, and I know there is more openness in some families, but for many of us these discussions are still new.
I also can’t help but notice how this reluctance to open up about personal matters intersects with gender roles, which are still deeply ingrained in many Asian societies. Many women are still expected to prioritize family over their own aspirations or desires, their worth often defined by their adherence to traditional expectations of purity, submission and obedience. Both men and women are limited in how they express themselves, and those who deviate from the norm are often silenced or reprimanded.
This silence extends to the handling of serious issues like sexual harassment and violence. While the narrative is slowly shifting, the normalization of these issues in parts of Asia is still frighteningly prevalent. Our society, in many instances, has failed to protect individuals and provide a safe space for open dialogue.
The consequences of this silence are severe: We are less likely to report such incidents than the Western countries, and when we do, the process is often slow and insufficient. Victims can end up facing additional scrutiny and blame. The societal unwillingness to engage in these conversations only allows such issues to fester and grow unchecked.
It’s time we start having honest conversations about these issues. It’s time we acknowledge that the “perfect image” we so often try to portray is damaging to mental health and personal relationships. Although the Western culture still hasn’t solved all problems associated with mental health and relationship stigma, it’s time we learn from the positive aspects that Asia is lacking in and move together as a world to break down these barriers.
People deserve to talk about their struggles, seek help without fear of judgment and live lives that are not dictated by outdated cultural norms. Mental health is not a weakness, and relationships are not solely about fulfilling societal expectations — they are about mutual understanding, respect and personal well-being.
