The love lives of Gen Z look radically different to the courtship of prior generations, thanks in part to the widespread adoption of new technology and a series of world-changing events.
Relationship building and intimate expressions are core parts of the human experience and have been for thousands of years. Never before has humanity possessed such a simple way to connect with others, through social media sites or online dating apps — like Tinder and Hinge — which, according to Forbes, 3 in 10 Americans report using.
Digitized social platforms are a poor substitute for in-person interaction, said William Webster, a freshman majoring in music education.
“They’re really not authentic,” Webster said. “The internet can be a great thing, but it really does consume people. They forget how important life is … how you should live your life in the real world and explore.”
He compared the dating app experience to shopping and “going through the shelves for the milk that will expire the latest.”
Americans are more isolated than ever and spend less time with other people in social environments. Gen Z has been particularly hard-hit by this trend, exacerbated by the effects of the pandemic on social behavior and mental health. In fact, the mental health situation of the generation has become so dire as to be labeled a crisis by the American Psychiatric Association.
Webster also believes that political polarization has played a role in mental health struggles and the emotional schism in some relationships.
“There’s a big fat divide,” he said. “People hate each other for their beliefs alone.”
Studies have shown that Americans are more likely to look for a partner with similar political views now than twenty years ago. Gen Z men have also drifted rightwards while Gen Z women have drifted leftwards, causing a massive polling divide between genders, according to a poll by CNBC. According to USAToday, the shift in political culture, particularly among Gen Z men, can be attributed to Republicans deliberately courting predominantly male spaces online like podcasts and gaming streamers.
Forbes also showed that American Gen Z men are more insecure than their female counterparts over their partner’s behavior on social media, such as liking other mens’ posts — which more than a third of male respondents considered to be cheating. Gen Z men also report that they are looking for a committed relationship at a higher rate than women, creating a disparity in the dating market that experts associate with changing relationship standards and diverging values.
Gen Z has redefined what it means to be in a relationship, with a veritable dictionary of new terms like “situationship,” “ghosting” and “soft launch.” Gen Z women in particular have higher standards for their partners and are approaching relationships with a calculated mindset. Researchers have described this phenomenon as part of an overarching, almost scientific pragmatism Gen Z has in its romantic relationships, searching for forms of stability while remaining open to new ideas.
Lisa Wade, a sociology professor at Tulane University, told the BBC that Gen Z’s new approach to romance is an extension of its broader focus on career success and financial stability. Gen Z earns less money than older generations, which results in far more frugal behaviors.
“Young people would say that relationships are distracting them from their educational and career goals, and that it’s best to not get too attached because you might sacrifice your own trajectory in life for someone else,” Wade said to BBC.
Gen Z also spends less money on dating than its older peers and is more reliant on nontraditional forms of romantic connection, such as the aforementioned situationship or the oft-discussed hookup culture. Gen Z is also more likely to identify as queer or non-monogamous, further making the relationship dynamics of the generation more complex.
Aiden Magouyrk, a junior double majoring in communication studies and news media, said that there’s less experience and incentive for Gen Z to begin dating, thanks to the effects of the pandemic and social media.
“That experimental phase that we’re supposed to get when we were teenagers in-person with relationships was robbed of us from the pandemic, and so now we are behind,” Magouyrk said. “Most people aren’t finding real, true, authentic relationships until their mid-20s. That means they’re getting married pushing 30.”
While he admits the world of romance is changing, he doesn’t see that the foundational beliefs in love differ among generations.
“True love takes a lot of work that’s really hard. True love is caring enough about a person to stick with them,” he said.
