When attending school at a campus with more than 40,000 students, it can feel almost necessary to be social and outgoing to fit in.
At least, that is the mindset I had before I caught my flight to the United States to attend The University of Alabama. This feeling isn’t particularly nice when you are an introvert. I remember being terrified of the size of the campus; I lost count of the number of times I got lost in my first few days. Along with finding my way to classes, I was also on a side quest to become extroverted and social so that I could make friends. For me, it was a complicated feeling because I have never found comfort in being in the spotlight.
When I first entered my dorm room and saw my roommates and their families hanging out and socializing, I was afraid that I would never be friends with them and that I would feel left out.
I can gladly say that things turned out to be very different. My roommates are more extroverted than I am, but they respect my alone time. On occasion, a part of my mind does think that I might be missing out on all the laughter echoing from our living room, but the serenity I feel when I am alone in my room checking off my to-do list feels right at that moment.
Sometimes, when I choose to say no to events, I feel like I am creating a boring campus life for myself, but I’m learning that my own rhythm can be just as vibrant. I feel the FOMO when I do not go to our football games, but screaming and jumping in the living room watching the game alone is another type of enthralling experience — you should try it!
It is true, however, that sometimes you have to challenge your comfort zone and put yourself out there. You can always come back to your little cocoon, as it is not going anywhere — but opportunities are. If I could, I would choose to live my whole life in solitude, but the era that we live in demands networking and building connections. There are times when I say yes to events, go to movie nights, make small talk, engage in group activities, sign myself up for social events, smile at strangers on my way to campus and start conversations, and reach out to people in my classes.
As tough as it is, it has also taught me that some challenges are truly worth it. The friends I have made and the opportunities I have received just because I chose to do the hard things are irreplaceable. My advice would be to do your best to socialize when it is necessary during the week and use the weekends to recharge yourself. It helps to stay involved while also honoring what makes you feel best.
In the bustling campus environment, it’s okay if you feel lost or haven’t found your place yet. Keep pushing yourself, but also realize that it is not necessary to change yourself in ways you don’t like just to fit in — because that’s not worth it. Enjoy the silence around campus during home games while everyone else is in the stadium. Don’t say yes to people because of a fear of losing friendships. Your true friends will be the ones who celebrate you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be. It’s perfectly fine to carve your own path — one that aligns with your values and makes you feel at home, whether amid a crowd or in a quiet corner in Gorgas.
