Serving the campus of the University of Alabama since 1894

The Crimson White

Serving the campus of the University of Alabama since 1894

The Crimson White

Serving the campus of the University of Alabama since 1894

The Crimson White

Theory: Lana Del Ray . . . Is a robot?

Theory: Lana Del Ray . . . Is a robot?

Elizabeth Grant was a conflicted youth. She was shipped away to boarding school for flirting with drugs and alcohol. She was a struggling artist.

She was also the perfect variable to complete the entertainment equation.

Starting with clichéd trailer park beginnings and a “make yourself” attitude, moody, melancholic tunes and relatable lyrics were then wired into her motherboard. Then, in order to cover the interior mechanical changes, an aesthetically pleasing, yet oddly symmetrical face created the perfect entertainer: the entertaining robot.

Oh, and a new name for our useful, entertaining and ground-breaking invention: Lana Del Rey. It rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?

And while her brain may not be filled with nuts and bolts and wires, there is a pretty good chance Lana Del Rey is, in fact, a robot.

And by robot, I mean a music-industry created machine aimed at appealing to the average human’s senses: looks, sound, sight.

On Tuesday, Lana Del Rey is releasing her first “real” album. And despite that being her first major record label album, we’ve already seen her bomb a Saturday Night Live performance and croon her way onto tabloids.

The Lana Del Rey obsession is spurred on more by the cloud of mystery surrounding her than the level of talent she has thus displayed, and blogs and entertainment websites are quick to question her background.

She claims she grew up poor, traveled around the country in a vagabond-esque style and spent her weeknights in New York City music clubs, trying to get her name out there.

So, how did she grow up in a trailer park, while also being educated at a boarding school?

And how did her rise to fame happen so quickly? Already taking a coveted SNL performance slot and receiving a tweeted shout-out from none other than Kanye West are impressive feats for someone who claims to have no leg-ups in the music industry.

And her lips – those aren’t real, right?

Interscope records scooped up Grant and then altered her to create an element of mystique, while remaining relatively recognizable. And Americans are drinking in the trends Elizabeth Grant channeled into her new persona. Maybe it is the mystery factor, but something about the way her body moves and how her eyes focus makes me wonder what exactly Lana Del Rey is.

But her plastic hair and juicy lips are only part of the hypnotizing affect Lana Del Rey has on consumers. She also knows what they want to hear. Her voice leaves much to be desired, but her methodical tunes, combined with intriguing lyrics prove that popular music is becoming more formulated than ever before.

The amount of hype behind Lana Del Rey before she even released a full-length album is a little incredible, and after we’ve gotten to dissect her talent, a little embarrassing. The creation of Lana Del Rey should remind us as consumers that we should not forget to be wary of eating right out of the music industry’s hands.

But credit is due when deserved, and her music video “Born to Die” is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. Its use of striking images and attractive people made it intriguing to watch. So, congrats, robot lady.

But either way, I’m over this model. I’m ready for the Del Rey 2.0 upgrade.


SoRelle Wyckoff is the opinions editor of The Crimson White. Her column runs on Mondays.

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