Throughout the course of my academic career, I have been fortunate to attend numerous Alabama away football games, and I have experienced both highs and lows.

I have slept in the backseat of an SUV and a four-star hotel. I have viewed games in the doldrums of a hostile opponent’s alehouse and from the 50-yard line of a 90,000-seat stadium.

In doing this, I believe I have acquired enough knowledge worthy of publication. The University of Alabama student body deserves to know several crucial guidelines before departing on their next trip to Oxford, Starkville, or possibly even New Orleans.

Rule #1: Be nice. Talking trash to the opposing team’s fans can sometimes become a past time in Tuscaloosa. While telling Arkansas fans that Bobby Petrino is a lying, overrated, choking fool may get you a few ticked off stares, very rarely will much trouble come out of it in Tuscaloosa.

Having the security of 100,000+ people in your general vicinity can play to your advantage and will help you avoid any physical altercations that come with SEC smack-talk.

The same cannot not be said when you are on the road. Nothing screams “I want to get hit in the face” more than telling a bunch of intoxicated and bewildered Gator fans that Charlie Weis looks like he’s pregnant with triplets.

It doesn’t matter how true it is; it is always best to keep a low profile at away games. So when the Tide scores a touchdown, high-five your friends and go along your business. Don’t wave your shaker in someone’s face and don’t taunt the opposing fans. You are in someone else’s house, and it is important to respect that.

Rule #2: Rent a hotel room.  I know, I know, crashing on your friend’s, cousin’s, or Dad’s boss’s brother-in-law’s couch seems like a convenient way to save a buck or two. There is no reason to pay for a hotel when you can just stay somewhere for free, right? Wrong.

Sleeping on someone’s couch is a stress to your host. Unless you are really close friends, it can often be an unnecessary burden on them, especially if you bring others.  Finding a cheap hotel that you can split four (or five or six) ways is easy if you plan ahead, and will alleviate a lot of hassle later on.

Rule #3: Find your Bama brethren. Often times, a big city like Knoxville or Columbia can be intimidating to first time road-trippers. Usually dreary after a long drive, nobody is in the mood to deal with complete strangers. It is always best to find fellow Bama fans.

Whether it is at a popular bar near campus, or a tailgate set up by Bama fans, there will always be a congregation one can find. You can discuss the impending bloodbath the Tide will be putting on that weekend’s opponent. There is also a core group of people to back you up if rule No. 1 is somehow broken.

These three rules are the mere guidelines of an elaborate plan that is put into every away game I attend. Other rules such as skipping class on Friday so you can leave as early as possible and having a Sunday brunch for Fantasy Football adjustments prior to departure are recommended but not mandated.

Having said all that, just be safe, be smart, and enjoy the game. The rest will come with experience.

Jake Gray is a senior majoring in economics and journalism. His column runs on Tuesdays.