Last Friday, I opened up the Crimson White expecting to find the same old tired debates on relevant issues such as parking, national politics, or, heaven forbid, campus unity. Imagine my surprise when I found an article suggesting that the University of Alabama “cater to our honors students by offering Capstone Maid service for their room.” I thought to myself, someone finally understands what college is really about!

Just as colleges shouldn’t market themselves on academic quality, the student body should not have to learn any amount of responsibility or accountability. College is not about personal growth or experience; it’s all about entitlement.

In fact, why stop at Capstone Maids? Since it is such a good idea, why don’t we expand it? After all, there are many other areas of student life that require responsibility and might get in the way of enjoying life. Sometimes, I walk into my dorm and get a craving for freshly baked cookies, but I don’t want to put in the effort to make them. How about Crimson Grandmas who can be placed on-call to make cookies for students?

But really, how does offering maid service to the Honors dorms benefit either the student body or the University? I can understand that, at least at face value, it has the potential to be a unique recruiting tool for Alabama; however, realistically, there are many concerns regarding its practical benefits.

To the University, it is an extra expense, some of which would undoubtedly be passed to students in the form of increased housing rates. To the 87 percent of the student body that is not in the Honors College, it would create the perception of entitlement and elitism, which would only exacerbate problems of campus unity.

To Honors Students, it would not even offer a legitimate service. As the article observantly points out, the Capstone would “be one of the only universities in the country” with a maid service; however, these few other colleges that use the maid services are high cost private institutions and are, ironically, cutting these programs. George Washington University for example, one of the most expensive schools in the nation, is eliminating the service because the “housekeeping staff was often not able to do their duties.” According to them, the dorm rooms were often too messy with personal articles to even consider cleaning.

Even if the Crimson Maids service were effective, it would not positively affect the college decision of the students that the Honors College wishes to recruit. If costs increased, then it would only act as a deterrent for any prospective student. Beyond that potentiality, if a student bases their college decision upon the existence of a maid service, would they really fit the Honors College’s target demographic?

Finally, for fraternity brothers, I would be remiss if I did not point out that with a maid service to scrub our floors and give us a “room that smells like citrus or fresh laundry,” what would all of the pledges clean?

Beyond lacking any real tangible benefits, a maid service is simply counterproductive. At the end of the day, college is about more than just partying or even going to class. It requires students to live on their own, manage their schedules and, quite frankly, learn responsibility.

Part of that responsibility is the basic ability to do chores. Cleaning your room is not some monstrous task so time consuming that it causes students to drop out of college; it is a basic way of holding yourself accountable and a skill that most people gain sometime after taking their first steps and before learning to ride a bike.

If the author does not want to clean up his own mess, then that is his prerogative; however, he cannot have his cake and eat it too. The University has much bigger problems to address than a student having to walk into his or her living room and see “a paper plate your roommate has left there since August.” As tragic as it might be, students need to clean their own rooms.

John Brinkerhoff is a freshman majoring in political science and communication studies. His column runs biweekly on Mondays.