Our student body is growing by the hour,

On a given day, we should call Jack Bauer.

Because campus crowding is a time bomb ticking,

Already, it has gotten rather sickening.

Packed are many campus locations,

Causing countless student frustrations.

Yeah, maybe some of the complaints are exaggerated,

But nothing’s been done for them to be mitigated.

The line at the post office can take 30 minutes,

What made us deserve this involuntary sentence?

Go up the stairs to the Ferg level 2,

If it’s noon, a crowd will greet you.

Don’t try to find a table outside the food court,

Those things are precious, their supply is short.

Just take your food to a bench and eat alone,

That’s just another thing for you to bemoan.

You should check out the Subway and its line,

Who could have thought that setup was fine?

It’ll really make you stop, think and wonder,

Splitting through all those tables was such a blunder.

I love the addition of the Lloyd food court,

It’s something we needed and it’s got my support.

But before you stand up and scream hooray,

You must realize that students need their daily Chick-Fil-A.

We will travel miles for our sub-par campus venues,

Regardless of their average food and reduced menus.

This causes just as much crowding in another location,

Some choose to pack their lunch, this as their motivation.

Farther west, Bryant cafeteria doesn’t have immunity,

It’s still a part of the crowded lunch community.

High school lunch periods are the only cure,

Students would love to adopt those, I’m sure.

I’m only kidding, President Witt,

If you started implementing them, I’d beg you to quit.

Food spots ain’t alone in crowding to witness,

Just take a drive or a run to the place for fitness.

Search for a spot because that lot can get packed,

No one rides the bus there, that’s a fact.

The conventional wisdom is to avoid the peak times,

But your schedule will allow that only sometimes.

The Rec is great and has all the workout machines,

As we grow though, it’ll start bursting at its seams.

Volleyball, basketball and soccer fill up one gym,

The chances to find space there is already pretty dim.

Let’s be honest, whom do most of those basketball players think they’re kidding,

They should know the bench is where they should be sitting.

I’m just playing, actually I can’t,

The courts can get awfully scant.

The upcoming dorm has plans for a new, smaller rec,

For the freshmen, it won’t even require a trek.

Maybe that will get the crowds to diminish,

We can only hope, now let me finish.

The Gorgas lot remains full, if you haven’t looked,

Easy late night parking is tough, when all the spots are booked.

Should I dare mention the famed Commuter West,

For those who don’t know, for parking it’s the best.

If you’re lucky, you can snag a spot behind Publix,

You have to agree that comes from brilliant logistics.

Come on students, start skipping class,

Until then, we’re stuck at an impasse.

I know you’re at this place for a college education,

You need to sacrifice that, though, for other’s transportation.

I know all this has been voiced before,

As we grow it’ll be said more and more.

I don’t have a proposed solution,

Maybe this plea is merely noise pollution.

I know us columnists can be vociferous,

And our opinions can be rather gratuitous.

You’ve got to speak first if you want to be heard,

Otherwise, you’re just a member of the sheep herd.

Don’t be hesitant to speak out your view,

Actions follow words, and maybe you.

Thankfully, this page four has more than enough space,

You can write right here, next to my lovely face.

Wesley Vaughn is a junior majoring in public relations and political science. His column runs on Wednesdays.