Alabama vs. Fresno State
The Crimson Tide is coming off of a win that turned the Greatest Opener of All time moniker into a bad joke. Alabama did what they always do: make games insanely ugly to the point where it upsets everyone. While making that game worse than watching Suicide Squad, Alabama won by 17 points over the No. 3 team. Alabama is going to do what they always do. They’re going to win at any means necessary, and if that means turning it into a 1A area football game, then so be it.
This week, Alabama plays Fresno State, who won just a single game last season over an FCS team. Fresno State comes into this game with a win over Incarnate Word, which is just a silly name for a football team. This game is going to be very ugly, and you will probably see more horrifying things on Saturday than you will see in this weekend’s remake of Stephen King’s It. The best thing about this game is how the Bulldogs’ mascot wears a t-shirt. He’s a dog and he wears a t-shirt. That’s wacky.
Ohio State vs. Oklahoma
Coming off of an interesting win against Indiana, Ohio State faces a test in Baker Mayfield and Oklahoma. Mayfield, whose perfect hair gives him the ability to throw for a million yards, is one of the best quarterbacks in the country. He can stretch the field and has Johnny Manziel-like mobility. Oklahoma experienced a lot of change over the offseason, however. The Sooners lost both of their leading rushers. These losses are going to be hard to overcome. Ohio State will try to get their offense going early. JT Barrett, who has been in college for 47 years, will have to step up his game this week.
Notre Dame vs. Georgia
Georgia’s loss of quarterback Jacob Eason is a tough pill to swallow, but they should be able to compete with the Irish using backup Jake Fromm. I really like Georgia in this game, and I can give you 4-8 reasons why. Georgia will travel north for the first time in a while, but is just too physical for Notre Dame to handle. Normally I don’t root for one team over the other in games like this, but the way Brian Kelly carries himself makes me root against Notre Dame in every capacity. He blames his players for losses, and is too much of a coward to admit when he makes bad coaching decisions. For real, Brian Kelly is not cool. The Notre Dame Connor McGregors simply will not be able to overcome Georgia’s physicality or the ridiculously cute, droopy face of UGA IX.
Clemson vs. Auburn
Both teams faced smaller schools last week, and both slaughtered them. Auburn comes into this year with a lot of hype and expectations, which they have never failed to match. Six-time Heisman-winning quarterback Jarrett Stidham gets the opportunity to face off against a scary pass rush, led by junior Christian Wilkins. Clemson replaces Deshaun Watson with Kelly Bryant, who had a nice debut last week. All signs point towards this being a very good game, not only on the field, but in the mascot game. Auburn’s mascot, Aubie, is considered one of the best in the country. Clemson’s mascot, The Tiger (creative name there), looks like he’s been doing cocaine for the six hours leading up to the game. So, you can either take the seasoned veteran tiger, or the one who is literally insane.
