I have been thinking about what I would write my senior column about for the last three years. I considered writing about my time on campus and all that I’ve learned about myself and others. I’ve considered writing about my place in the campus community and what that means for students who come after me. I wanted to paint myself in a positive and pristine light, showing that I exemplified all the proper qualities of a successful student at the Capstone. However, when I sat down and started to type, I couldn’t feel genuine about what I was saying. I don’t believe that I haven’t done any of those things, I just couldn’t exactly figure out how to express my feelings in a way that I was proud of. Writing about myself has never been my strong suit. It’s fairly difficult for me to give myself much credit because I always feel that I can make myself better, that I can do more. I do my best to remain humble although I rationally know how accomplished I really am. I know that I’ve grown an exponential amount since I first arrived on campus four years ago, but it’s just difficult to recognize it at times. That may be self-deprecating to an extent, but it is the truth. And so, I ultimately decided to tell the truth, my truth, as I know it.

Finding and maintaining a healthy level of happiness while balancing classwork, friends, sleep, extracurricular activities and future planning is hard for any student who is dedicated to their time on campus. I am no exception. I’m extremely disorganized, irresponsible and I procrastinate more than anyone I know. The absolute worst qualities I possess have reared their ugly heads more often than I’d like to admit. It’s embarrassing and debilitating. There are days where it’s tough to get out of bed because of that irrational feeling of shame and embarrassment. But those feelings don’t define me. They are not who I am nor who I want to be. I’ve realized in the last few weeks that I have chosen to be a person who loves and cares and helps others. I found a calling in leadership when I was a second semester freshman, and I haven’t looked back since. Being a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, an unapologetic listener and a believer in the good in people is what I do best. I believe in uplifting those around me because I know that I would want the same for myself. And so that’s what I’ve attempted to do in these few years that I have been on campus.

I say these things to point out that I don’t have to aspire to perfection. No one should. It’s not fair to force yourself into believing that you will never be good enough. I want anyone reading this to know that you can aspire for greatness but that does not mean you are not good enough. I’m still struggling with that sentiment today but building self-esteem not an overnight process. I want to express that I am learning to accept myself for all my attributes as well as my flaws. I believe that anyone who struggles in that way can ultimately accept all parts of themselves. If that’s by talking to someone about what they’re feeling or journaling or going on a run, we can all recognize and channel our truth. I genuinely believe that being a student at the University of Alabama has help me recognize who I am and who I am becoming. My involvement with my sorority, SGA, the political science department, The XXXI, Capstone Coalition, Parent Programs and the First Year Experience, and being a general ambassador for the University has shaped me into who I am today. I believe that each of my experiences has pushed me to find positivity and progress in my life. UA has pushed me and provided me with such opportunity and support that I know I couldn’t have gotten anywhere else. UA has helped me learn to accept the crookeds with the straights and keep pushing into what comes next. But I know that whatever the case may be, I’ve learned that it’s not irrational to feel lost or scared. I don’t know what’s next but I do know that I believe it will be something great.

Shelby Norman is a senior majoring in political science.