Nothing gives me more pride than walking into Bryant-Denny on game day and seeing the sea of crimson flooding the stands. However, a few people every game stick out like sore thumbs and ruin this glorious homogeny: people who aren’t wearing Alabama colors.

Now I don’t mean those wearing black, white, or gray — as a girl whose wardrobe is bigger than her apartment closet allows for, I know how hard it is to find something crimson to wear to the game that you haven’t worn before already. At least these neutral alternatives aren’t distracting in the stands. I’m referring to those few, shameful people who have the audacity to don green dresses or blue polo shirts to cheer on the CRIMSON Tide.

At least a few times a game, someone walks by me or I spot someone in the stands (usually in Student Organization Seating) who is wearing an outfit so clashing with the rest of our crimson garb that they call embarrassing attention to themselves. When I glance across the stands, that one snob who chose to wear a yellow dress is blatantly visible amidst the thousands and thousands of us who know who we support and what our team’s colors are. I have to wonder, for this poor person’s sake, “What the hell was he/she thinking?”

If you’re a guy, and if you’re wearing orange, blue, yellow, green or some other color that has nothing to do with Bama, I have no sympathy for you. Unlike us girls, you can wear the same Bama T-shirt for every single home game and no one would notice. So pull one of your crimson tees out of your dirty laundry bag and head over to Bryant-Denny. It’s better than looking like a jerk who doesn’t care about his team.

Ladies, ours is a different story. I know that we can’t all wear crimson all the time (as much as I wish that were true). There are only so many red dresses at Forever 21 and Plato’s Closet that sometimes we have to branch out and wear black or white, and that’s OK. As long as you have your shaker in hand and maybe put on a red belt or pumps, you’re good to go.

It’s those girls who decide to put on a blue dress at a Crimson Tide football game I don’t understand. Surely you can borrow a dress from a similarly-sized friend or (gasp!) put on one of your many crimson T-shirts and a pair of jeans for a change. I have plenty of red, black, white and gray dresses; borrow one of mine (I’m kidding, please don’t come find me). I’m not saying your dresses aren’t adorable and that I don’t drool over how cute they are when you walk by me, I’m saying that these looks are sacrilegious and don’t belong in Bryant-Denny.

So, Crimson Tide fans, please make your best effort to look like a true fan this Saturday. It’s a big game and we need to put on our game faces (and clothes). If I see anyone in the student section wearing something as heinous as orange or blue, I’ll probably assume you’re someone’s guest from Florida and throw my $8 nachos at you. Roll Tide.

Kirsten MacKay is a junior majoring in English and art history.