The lunch table conversation is usually centered on game day plans, and how the social went the night before and which boys everyone’s talking to.
There have been moments, though, where the chaos starts to quiet a bit. When a girl lightly mentions that she’s not talking to him anymore because of something that happened, or she pauses and says she doesn’t know if she wants to go back to that fraternity house again. Another girl nods and says she understands, and the conversation shifts away as they both give knowing looks.
It doesn’t happen every week, but it has happened enough that I’ve come to realize the double-edged sword of being in a more talkative and outgoing organization than other houses – that my sisters are sometimes more likely to be targeted than others. But at the same time, in quieter houses, do those girls ever get to share that something happened to them at all?
Campus sexual assault has become a national discussion, and the Rolling Stone article that came out last spring has placed a focus on what’s going on in greek houses. The statistics paint a grim image: women living in sorority houses are three times more likely to be sexually assaulted than other college women. It’s hard to get the statistics on how many men are affected as well, as it is estimated that less come forward, but RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) states that in their lifetime 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted, an important part of the full story of assault.
At the University, so much of our greek culture is focused around having a partner. As school starts, date parties go into full swing, and new freshmen quickly have to find a male date (no sliding by with a friend) and trust them for an entire evening. Then as home games come in the fall, greek women have to find their fraternity counterparts to sit with since there is no sorority section for them. Then in some swaps, the dying practice of bumping kicks off the evening as freshmen step backwards hoping this guy won’t try anything.
This constant pairing of fraternity and sorority makes it great for greeks to get to know each other, but it doesn’t always stay innocent and safe. Adding alcohol to the equation and a young man who decides he wants more from the evening than one last spin on the dance floor – and it’s not hard to see why there is more room for sexual assault to occur in the greek community than anywhere else on campus.
Some houses have started taking more precautions – bumping has been almost eliminated at swaps, some fraternity houses lock their second floor while having events, and some fraternity and sorority houses are now offering sexual assault trainings for their members. But real change – the real prevention of sexual assault on the University’s campus isn’t going to happen until we decide to make a difference and speak up when we see something.
We as a greek community have been the subjects of national and local critique, and it’s time to show that we are willing to make a change. We as a community have pledged ourselves to values greater than ourselves – common tenants of loyalty, scholarship, philanthropy and honor. We may add other elements that make our organizations unique – but ultimately we are people who said we are willing to devote our college career and the rest of our lives to a higher standard of sisterhood and brotherhood. If we want to show that side of greek life – and not just be another TFM article, it’s time that we speak up and have an honest conversation about what’s going on. Not hushed voices and slight nods, but real dialogue about where we are failing our members. We need to intervene when we see something happening at socials, and we need to make sure our members have the resources they need to get help when they need it. Ultimately, it’s on us.
Meghan Dorn is a senior studying public relations and political science. Her column runs biweekly.
