Dorit Cohen did not know what she was getting herself into when she agreed to leave her home in Israel. Nevertheless, her husband, Sagy, was insistent they move to Australia where he could pursue a Ph.D.
While her husband spent the days busy with school, Cohen usually found herself sitting bored and alone in their apartment.
“It’s really hard to live in a foreign country,” Cohen said. “The older you get, the harder it is to find friends.”
Luckily, Cohen realized she was not alone in her struggle when she joined the school’s international spouse support group.
“What happened in Australia is that the international students were bringing in so much money to the university, so [the university] understood to keep those students they had to keep the spouses.”
Once Cohen’s husband finished his degree it was time to move again, this time to Colorado, where he pursued post-doctorate work. After that, the couple moved finally to Tuscaloosa, where Cohen’s husband secured a tenured position as an assistant professor of geography. This time though, Cohen decided to apply what she’d learned during her time in Australia by helping to organize a support group.
She presented the idea to Capstone International in September 2011, and with the help of Stephanie Freeman, immigration advisor for Capstone International Center, founded a UA chapter of the International Spouse Group.
“[Capstone International] told me it was a great idea. I figured I’m here, again, in a foreign place. I was moving around, and I don’t have any options to meet friends. To stay in the house every day, it’s really depressing. So I said, OK, why not, it’s a challenge.”
The club started with about 10 members, some of whom spoke little or no English. Cohen said that, despite language differences, the idea is to provide a safe, supportive environment for the spouses.
“The idea is also that if someone is creative, we learn about other cultures,” Cohen said. “For me, the real pleasure is to see they’re exchanging phone numbers, and they’re creating friends. So, even if they don’t come back, they’ve made those connections.”
Freeman said most spouses in the group came to the U.S. with visas that limit or even prohibit their options to work.
“When you’re sitting at home all day looking at four walls, with only YouTube and the TV to keep you company, you begin to crave human contact,” Freeman said. “The goal is to have different activities for them. I think what they all bring to the organization is that they support each other because they understand exactly what’s like to be alone in a foreign country.”
The group meets once a week in B. B. Comer Hall, and so far they have participated in cooking classes and heard guest speakers.
Durc Nguyen, who came to the University from Daig, Vietnam, two years ago to receive his PhD in mathematics, said the group has helped he and his wife to learn to survive in America.
“My wife can have a chance to meet friends,” Nguyen, said. “She doesn’t know about the U.S. This gives her a chance to meet other people so we can have a place to hang out. Usually, one week we will have a topic to discuss. For example, we talked once about a special holiday of each country, or we go on the weekend out some place, or we learn how to cook a traditional food.”
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