During the month of love, singles on and off campus are looking forward to first dates with potential romantic partners. However, while a first date is the perfect opportunity for an enjoyable time, not everyone is so fortunate.
James Merchant, a sophomore majoring in civil engineering, had his expectations challenged when a seemingly typical date started to veer off the path.
“This was a first date, and originally it was supposed to be a very normal first date, like coffee and then taking a walk around the park,” Merchant said. “But an hour before, she was like ‘okay, let’s go on a hike instead’ and I love hiking, so I thought okay, let’s go on a hike instead.”
Merchant met his date through a dating app. While the story didn’t exactly turn out to be a catastrophe, the romance died slowly as the conversation became rather repetitive. He said that whenever he’d ask a question, his date would simply repeat it back to him, rather than coming up with a new question herself.
“She would just give a short response and then say the same question back, which becomes, as you might assume, a kind of boring and frustrating dialogue,” Merchant said.
Kaia Doyle, a sophomore majoring in public relations, didn’t view her dating experience as a bad one until it was over.
“He love-bombed me, saying ‘I’m gonna meet your family, I’m gonna meet your parents,’ then he made me pay for the date,” Doyle said.
This was Doyle’s first date with this person, who left it up to her to pay the check of $150.
Sinclair Linkis, a junior majoring in nutrition, had what could be described as a startling first date on Halloween with someone she met on Tinder.
“So we go down to the river walk at night. It’s 10 p.m. so it’s super, super dark, and this kid’s in the Marines so he’s telling me all his confirmed kills, and how well trained he is,” Linkis said.
Linkis added that her date continued to discuss his abilities, such as hiding bodies and killing people silently, before leading her to a construction zone and continuing to untie his combat boots.
“Panic all of a sudden ensues, because I was like, for sure, I’m gonna be dumped in this river next to me,” Linkis said. “So then I was like ‘yeah, let’s not do this,’ So then we continued our walk, and then we got back to his car.”
Despite asking him to wrap up, Linkis’s date tried to discourage the notion of taking her home by suggesting additional places to go, until she had to text a friend to pick her up.
Merchant focused on what he got out of his dating experience, rather than simply focusing on the initial negatives.
“I’ve never asked someone the same question back since,” Merchant said.
While not every romantic interaction will be positive, they can allow for self-reflection and growth, like Merchant experienced.
Similar to Merchant, Linkis used her date as a learning experience. In addition to avoiding sharing her address with new people, Linkis prioritizes knowing her date prior to their first meet-up.
“Definitely ask some questions before you go on a first date, because you really don’t know people’s true intentions until you ask some in depth questions,” Linkis said.
