The end of the academic year is quickly approaching. With graduation in early May, the ending of leases in July and the inevitable separation from those not returning, the next semester brings new beginnings and difficult goodbyes.
Although I still have another year of undergraduate study, it has become a running joke in my friend group to not mention the spring 2026 graduation in front of me. While I am thrilled to see what my friends will accomplish and where they will end up post-graduation, I am selfishly saddened to think about how drastically this will shift my college experience and the life I have built over the past few years. The premature grieving of no longer seeing my favorite people on a daily basis has consumed me since the start of the fall semester.
While I had close friends in high school that graduated before me, navigating their relocations was much easier to bear. College graduation, however, opens up a far broader array of opportunities than high school graduation did.
I currently have friends receiving acceptances from graduate programs from coast to coast, whereas the farthest one of my high school friends went for college was barely a five-hour drive away. Coming to terms with the increase in distance highlights how extremely these relationships can change.
There are points of connection that are specific to friendships forged within our hometowns. For instance, I knew that I would see and will continue to see friends I went to high school with at least twice a year for the foreseeable future, at Thanksgiving and during the winter holidays. However, when it comes to friendships found in college, especially for out-of-state students, this return to a centralized location is not promised.
While I am fortunate that my closest friend in college is from the same home state as I am, my hometown Paris, Tennessee, on the western border could not be farther from their hometown of Knoxville in east Tennessee.
Aside from any distance related concerns, our relationships with people we meet in college are inherently different than those we grew up with. For many, these are the first friendships we have that are uninfluenced by previous perceptions we have of ourselves.
These are the friendships that help us forge our identities as we grow into adulthood. Our habits, schedules and interests are heavily influenced by those we spend the most time with in college. Introducing a new crowd to our pool of influence, especially during a time of immense change, significantly impacts the development of our mature personalities. Experiencing the departure of one of these foundational influences can leave us feeling as though a piece of our newfound selves is missing.
It is important to remember that graduation does not have to equate to a goodbye, but can be reframed into a “see you later.” All relationships require work, and the period of postgrad adjustment may be difficult. However, when you find people with whom you truly connect, it is worth the effort.
While I am still desperately attempting to convince my friends to stay for their master’s degrees, the best-case scenario is that the separation is postponed for a year until I myself am facing graduation. Rather than prematurely grieving the proximity of your closest relationships, it is more important to focus on creating plans to maintain these relationships and enjoying the time you do have left together in the same place.
