As Valentine’s Day approaches, the air is filled with love for some, while for others the day brings feelings of isolation and loneliness. While couples eagerly anticipate special moments, singles may feel a sense of emptiness, experiencing a disconnect from the widespread celebration of love.
Valentine’s Day loneliness can be amplified by societal pressures. From television and movies to advertisements showing tender moments between couples in love, the idea of a perfect romantic relationship is almost impossible to avoid.
“Sometimes I feel lonely when I see other people in healthy relationships,” said Grace Pyburn, a senior majoring in interior design.
These depictions can make individuals feel like something is fundamentally wrong with them for being alone. As a result, some might begin to question their self-worth, believing their lives are incomplete without the companionship of a partner.
In an Essence article, Elizabeth Ayoola said that she battled feelings of unworthiness for years, leading her to think that Valentine’s Day could never be a happy occasion because of these emotions.
“During the years I didn’t love myself, Valentine’s Day elucidated my lack and magnified my belief that I was unworthy and unloved,” Ayoola said.
According to an AARP Foundation survey, about 23% of adults across the U.S. hold negative views about Valentine’s Day, expressing discomfort with the focus on couples and the pressure put on people who are alone.
For those already struggling with mental health issues, Valentine’s Day can be overwhelming.
“While many people celebrate love and romance on Valentine’s Day, for some people, it can be a day shadowed by pain and loss,” said Laura Kelley, the media relations professional at University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus. “Mental health issues from depression, grief and post-traumatic stress disorder can all trigger harmful negative emotions.”
Mental health experts have determined that the impact of loneliness and social isolation can have the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
However, Valentine’s Day does not have to induce feelings of loneliness. The holiday can be seen as an opportunity for self-love and friendships rather than romance.
“Talking to others who may share your feelings can help you examine where your emotions stem from and make you feel less alone in your situation,” said Mental Health First Aid USA.
The Crisis Text Line reports that connecting with family and friends can help reduce feelings of loneliness while advising people to avoid triggers, such as romance movies and love songs, that could intensify feelings of isolation and stress.
“I plan on going out to dinner with my friends on Valentine’s Day,” said Abby Lessard, a sophomore majoring in aerospace engineering. “It makes me feel better to be around my friends instead of thinking about being lonely.”
Valentine’s Day may be linked with love, but that does not mean that being alone translates to being unloved. There are different ways to embrace the holiday without allowing loneliness to become overwhelming, such as practicing self-care, connecting with friends or finding fulfillment in the simple moments of life.
