A recent study shows that students at Auburn University make up, by far, the largest portion of the readers of The Crimson White.

Studies investigating CW readership that began last year following Rosa Owens’s historic odyssey — the reading of every article in a single edition — have yielded very odd results.

First and very surprisingly, Rosa’s case of reading the paper from front to back was not an isolated incident. In reality, more than 15,000 copies of the publication are delivered every day to a group of fervent regular readers.

What shocked the research group conducting the study, though, was that the large number of newspapers was not going to University of Alabama students, or even people in and around Tuscaloosa. The papers were being shipped to Auburn University, one edition for every man, woman and cow on campus.

“The numbers are amazing, really,” said Paul Wright, director of UA’s Office of Student Media. “At first, we thought they were just using the paper to litter in their public areas because of some kind of toilet paper shortage, but then, we realized every day they posted something like 700 threads on some site about tiger droppings, and it became evident that they’d actually read this stuff.”

The posts on that site have ranged from fairly innocent notes that calmly point out errors in grammar or spelling to heated debates on the journalistic integrity of “articles” on the Opinions page.

“Is this the bammer reject newspaper or something?! These bammin’ bammer rammer jammers don’t have a lick of objectivity in ’em,” said one AU English major on the site, responding to a column on The CW’s Opinions page. “Boycott these bammer articles! Fire the editors of this turd literature!”

One UA student, an obvious newcomer to the forum, hoped he could set the record straight in a peaceful manner.

“This is an opinions column on the Opinions page,” he posted. “I’m just saying, this isn’t supposed to be objective.”

The student has since disappeared.

Realizing the Auburn students closely examining The CW were completely untapped crowd-sourcing material, UA’s student newspaper has begun polling this odd readership with unprecedented results.

Yesterday’s poll, which read, “Why are you people reading so many of our papers?” has already gathered 11,000 responses.

“The Plainsman just isn’t something we can AUBsess over,” one student answered. “As the Auburn family, we’re all in. All into The Crimson White!”

The reports have stunned members of the UA community, where a single paper being taken from the stands is a marvel.