I’ve been the person who came to a restaurant with a group of loud people, completely disregarding other guests in the place. I’ve been the person digging through clothes in a retail store, leaving the messy pile when I’m done. I’ve been the person who gets annoyed when my food is taking forever to cook. I was oblivious to the fact that my server wasn’t cooking it. It’s not their fault. 

Everyone needs to work in the service or retail industry at least once. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but sometimes you’re the problem. Actually, it could be argued that it’s you most of the time. I know, if you’re reading this, you have stellar manners and none of this applies to you, but you can tell your friends. 

Most servers and bartenders make about $2.13 an hour plus tips. Sometimes this works out extremely well in our favor. Sometimes it doesn’t. It’s very easy to say that those people should get a new job, or that it isn’t your job to pay them, but that way of thinking needs to go. College students often work in service or retail because it is the only way we can balance our school schedule while also making money, so please be kind and be patient. 

Your server hears you yelling at them while they are talking to another table, and they shouldn’t discount your food just because you ask. I heard you when you said “sweet tea,” but I introduced myself and am waiting for you to acknowledge me as a human being. I will not serve you with a fake because I am not going to have ABC Board fine me just because you would like a drink.

Stop coming into restaurants 10 minutes before close and being shocked that your server isn’t thrilled to see you. Stop arguing with cashiers because your coupon is expired. Having been the cashier myself, there is literally nothing they can do. Stop ordering hundreds of dollars in alcohol if you aren’t going to tip accordingly, because your server loses money due to bar tip out. 

The biggest takeaway from this is that you should not disregard someone’s line of work because you think they are beneath you. Honestly, it would probably be smart to be extremely nice to people handling your food and drink. If you think about it, treating them badly really is risky if you go to the wrong establishment. Once you prove yourself to be a difficult guest, you will typically get stuck with the new, less trained servers as a sort of initiation for them, because those who have been there for longer and have the experience aren’t dealing with it.

If you’re rude, we are absolutely trash-talking you in the kitchen, and if you are offended by this column, you are the problem. So please, just be nice to your servers and bartenders. It is greatly appreciated.