Dear Lane Kiffin,

I know it’s been a while since you’ve last heard from us. Last time we saw you back in 2009, your Volunteers would have ended our chance at an undefeated season if it weren’t for two blocked field goals by the great Terrence Cody. We know your time in our illustrious conference may have been brief, and there are still lingering feelings following your betrayal and subsequent fleeing of our fellow SEC brethren Tennessee. However, you have now found yourself in a peculiar position that will offer you a chance of redemption in the eyes of the Southeastern brotherhood.

As you already know, the SEC has won the past six national championships, a streak we hold very dearly here in the heart of Dixie. It’s not so much a showing of our dominance over the rest of the country, but a regional pride we hold over those smug Northerners and Midwesterners who used to continuously look down upon not only our football teams, but our society as well. With our loss to new conference fraternity member Texas A&M last Saturday, the SEC’s streak is not only on life-support, but completely out of our hands.

This is where you and your Trojans come in. In order for us to get back in the National Championship game, two of Kansas State, Oregon and Notre Dame have to lose. As much as we would love to believe Kansas State might lose at Baylor or against a surging Texas team, neither team has the overall talent or defense capable of taking down the Wildcats and Heisman front-runner Collin “Optimus” Klein.

This leaves Notre Dame and Oregon as the two teams that have to lose. And coincidentally enough, your Trojans will play both of them (assuming you beat UCLA Saturday, whom we wholeheartedly believe you will crush).

Notre Dame we aren’t worried about. “Touchdown Jesus” may have been able to carry the Irish to a couple miraculous wins so far, but Notre Dame’s luck won’t be able to will them to another victory against your high-powered offense in the Coliseum. Notre Dame has an SEC-caliber defense, but their offense is only decent at best, and hasn’t seen anything like next year’s potential No. 1 overall pick Matt Barkley and the top receiving duo in the country, in Marqise Lee and Robert Woods.

Beating Oregon will be a tough task. Their no-huddle offense and athleticism is nearly unstoppable. However, you have already played one close game against them, and your familiarity with their up-tempo attack should give you a better blueprint than anyone else, and a chance at stopping them. And when push comes to shove, you have the only offense in the country capable of outscoring them. We both know that when it comes to the Pacific coast, Southern Cal is the true beacon of college football. It’s time to put those pesky Ducks back in their place.

I know what you are thinking: What will you get by helping us out? Why is it important to help keep the SEC’s streak alive? For one, by beating Notre Dame and Oregon, you will provide your team redemption after failing to live up to preseason expectations. You will also earn the respect and admiration of the most powerful football conference in the country. If there is going to be a usurper to the SEC’s hold on the BCS, we should at least be allowed a chance to defend it. Otherwise, we will have a new and potentially unworthy ruler this year that could send the college football landscape into chaos.

Good luck, Lane Kiffin. Your USC Trojans not only hold ours and the SEC’s national championship aspirations, but the delicate balance of college football in your hands. Fight on Trojans.