Serving the campus of the University of Alabama since 1894

The Crimson White


Serving the campus of the University of Alabama since 1894

The Crimson White

Serving the campus of the University of Alabama since 1894

The Crimson White

    Rappers leave Illuminati for Machine

    Rappers leave Illuminati for Machine

    Rap superstars Kanye West and Jay-Z are being considered for membership in the Machine, a traditionally hip-hop-loving coalition of fraternities and sororities that influences campus politics. Sources familiar with the operations of the Machine confirmed that West and Jay-Z were present at last week’s Machine meeting in the Phi Delta Theta house.

    The two music moguls, whose 2011 album “Watch the Throne” garnered several end-of-the-year awards, were previously rumored to be members of the Illuminati, a world-controlling organization that influences governments and large corporations.

    In an exclusive interview with The Crimson White, Jay-Z confirmed his affiliation with the Illuminati.

    “Yeah, I been on that Illuminati tip for a minute,” Jigga said. “We’ve gotten into some pretty grimy stuff. But using physical and verbal intimidation so you can have the power to launch a late-night bus route? Now, that’s gangsta.”

    West also showed admiration for the Machine. “They got a 100-year-old hustle, and I respect that,” West said. “No one GDI should have all that power.”

    Rumors of the artists’ Machine affiliation began last month when the rappers released “Matt,” a remix of their hit song “Otis,” in support of Matt Calderone’s Student Government Association presidential campaign. West confirmed that he and Machine candidate Calderone were actually longtime friends.

    “There’s a really funny story about me, Matt and Aziz Ansari in a Pakistani delicatessen,” West said. “But I’m saving that one for the next album.”

    The musical endorsement seems to have worked wonders for Calderone, who beat presidential hopefuls David Wilson and Shea Stripling decisively in the March 6 election. Wilson attempted to combat Calderone’s star power with a video of his own, featuring endorsements from players AJ McCarron, Vinnie Sunseri and Robert Lester. But the Crimson Tide stars seemed to resonate less with students.

    “Clearly, the main issue for students in this election was which candidate could get more famous people to say they were cool,” said Sean Carter, a political science professor. “And I mean, come on, having Jay AND Ye? That’s a tough combo to beat.”

    Despite the clear endorsement, Calderone has to this point disavowed any association with West, who is a polarizing figure in pop culture.

    “Kanye West supporting me is a decision that I was not a part of,” Calderone said. “I wasn’t there, I’ve never been to a Kanye West concert, I’ve never been invited to a Ye afterparty. Clearly, I’m aware of his existence, and I guess he’s supporting me this year. But it’s not support that I sought out. I did not solicit it in any way. I’m not looking for endorsement from any entertainer not recognized by this University.”

    Jay-Z, on the other hand, is excited to voice his association with both Calderone and the Machine. He hopes to use his clout to bring the Machine aboveground for marketing purposes. “Secret societies are played out, like tall tees and Nas,” Hov said.

    Ever the businessman, Jay-Z has a large line of merchandise planned for the Machine, capitalizing on the group’s intrigue and mysterious history.

    “We’re gonna have Machine T-shirts, Machine koozies, Machine vodka. Hell, I’m gonna start a Machine nightclub,” Jay-Z said. “Well, besides Gallettes.”

     

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